Twisted Sunshine

First Day Blues 2014/06/03

It’s that time of year again. June spells the beginning of the academic year in my home country. Yes, the academic year in the Philippines is patterned after its wet/cool and dry/hot seasons. The wet season starts in June and so is the beginning of the first day of school. Summer breaks however are scheduled during the hottest months from March to May.

As a mother to a 5-year old, first day of school can be action-packed, I must say. While some kids are ready to jump out of the nest – some are glued to the knees of their mothers. Either way, it is often a heart-wrenching, gut-turning moment for most of us.

Lucas started attending playschool when he was two. My decision to enroll him in a playschool was primarily to create an environment for him to make friends, to play and to talk to other toddlers his age. Being the only kid at home, I feel like his days were mainly spent watching cartoons on TV and playing with his toys — which, by my mothering standards (hehe) isn’t acceptable. There’s so much out there for him to discover.

How I wish he was one of those ready to jump out of the nest little kid, but he wasn’t. From his Toddler, Nursery and Kinder I years — crying profusely has become a yearly ritual for us during the first day of school. With him, all glued to my knees if not, smothering me with tight embrace — not wanting to let go.

Prior to June, I have already started filling the cargo box containing Lucas’ school needs from bags, shoes, school supplies etc. This year, he is moving up to Kinder II — with a new school, new teachers and new classmates. Being a long distance working mother, I am concerned about quite a number of things. Aside from the fact that I won’t be physically present to be with him, I also worry if he can adjust well under a totally new environment. Although I am 100% sure his Lola (my mother) can guide him better than I do, I guess the mother inside me cannot be faulted when mommy blues start kicking in.

After office, I hurriedly called my mother to ask how Lucas did in school. Did he cry? I have prepared myself to hear the expected, him crying unconsolably. But to my surprise, my mother said, no. He didn’t cry, not a single tear. And much to my delight, my mother told me that Lucas was well-behaved — leaving me totally speechless and proud.

Time really passes by so quickly. He’s growing up so fast at a pace more than I want to. But I am hopeful, that despite the distance that separates us right now, the promise of tomorrow will shine brighter than ever — for us to make up for all the time losts.